Monday, December 27, 2010




when I eat fusion food, my english just gets weird. i use words i dont usually use, and words i didnt know i was capable of using.

ew i smell mosquito spray. D=

time to flee this horrible smellllllllll

Friday, December 24, 2010

Is it just me?

People grow apart. It's just the way it is.

There was a time when I lived in a fairytale. "BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!" I said, really meaning it. I even thought it'd carry through. With all my heart, I wanted for it to last. But it ended. We grew apart, went our separate ways.
No bitter feelings. Just the slightly awkward atmosphere when we accidentally meet, having that awareness of how much we've missed out on each others' lives and how close we used to be.

Why does it happen?
What makes it happen?
Life, apparently.

This doesnt mean that I foresee the ending of any friendship I start. I just reluctantly know somewhere at the back of my mind, that there will be a time when we can no longer be how we used to be. So all I can do is cherish what we have here and now, and hope for the best. I may not be an optimist, but I see the best in everything only when it is worth it. I am aware of the possible future disappointments, but I do not see it as predetermined.

Sometimes, that is all we have left to hold on to. =)

Random interjection: When did my posts EVER get so wordy and....intense? GEEZ. GONE ARE THE DAYS WHEN ALL I USED TO POST ABOUT WAS FLYING PIGS AND GRAZING COWS. Sigh. I miss those days. But trust me, they're probably around corner. I can never stay down too long. What's got me worried is the LENGTH of the time I can stay my depressed and withdrawn self before I finally return to happy ol' me. I think this is where I pick up the Bible and start doing some REAL reading. =/ Oh help me, Lord.

Anyway. Ive just lost any motivation I earlier had to drone on about life and its mishaps and its misfortunes. Sometimes it just gets too depressing. It's CHRISTMAS FOR GOODNESS' SAKES. LIGHTEN UP. (sorry, talking to myself) So yeah.

And sometimes I cant understand why church groups have cliques. I know there's this thing where some people click better with some than they do with others but do they SERIOUSLY have to shove it in everyone's faces by posting it on my Facebook wall complete with sickeningly cliche captions?! Come ONNNNNN.


I'd like to wring a chicken's neck and then cut it off and then roast it in pure anger sauce and garnish it with furious herbs and serve it on an impassioned plate.



Wednesday, December 22, 2010

One Serving of Pessimism, Please.

I'd never thought I'd change.
But Ive come to realize that, well, I''ve changed. O.O
Come to think of it, Ive just become an exaggerated version of myself back in secondary school days.

The only difference is that now I have one more characteristic to add to myself.
Im rather pessimistic now.
Funny thing is, pessimistic not to others, but only about myself.

I think life is full of disappointments and unfairness.
I think love is stupid and a waste of time.
I think friendship is fake and unreliable.

While you may think I sound like a TOTAL wet blanket, you should try thinking through every single one of the statements Ive just said. Surely you've been at a stage in your life when you thought the very same. I didnt ask to be like this. I started off as an optimistic person, but as you get older, things get more complicated. People of this world corrupt your child-like mind, challenge your faith, look down on your beliefs. You become more guarded and wary, less open-minded and trusting. The world does these kind of things to you.

Before you start to reprimand me for only adding to the despair in the world, let me tell you why it is better being pessimistic. First off:
1. You are less likely to get disappointed. - and when you are less likely to get disappointed, you actually become a happier person. When you have all that negative mentality in your life, when something good comes your way, you tend to appreciate it more. On the other hand, if you were brimming over with optimism and troubles and struggles came your way, you would most likely be wearied and depressed because these obstacles seem major to you, when to a pessimistic person it would be a normal thing.

2. You think more rationally. -Rather than being up in the clouds, always hoping and wishing for the best, being pessimistic actually brings you down to earth and plants your feet on the ground. You rationalize. You think logically. You dont set up for yourself an idealistic playground world where unicorns play and rainbows are found everyday. You tend to think more carefully, and learn how to prepare yourself for foreseeable situations. Hence, you are better off in life. If you just take everything as it goes and have a happy-go-lucky attitude, you will be unprepared for the hits and disappointments you will face in the future, and trust me, life is full of those.

3. Being pessimistic does not mean you have to look like Scrooge. Nor does it mean you have to go around dissing everyone's hopes and dreams. See, that's just a stereotype. A pessimistic person can still be happy. A pessimistic person can still laugh and play. Let's just say we're probably a bit more stable and firm-minded then optimists. No offense.

So yeah. Just a little (or not so little) blather and a rather serious-toned post on why pessimists > optimists. Sadly for us, optimists are liked better, probably because some people think their overly bright and cheery attitudes could rub off them if they stayed close for long enough.


Fat jokes.

At some point, we've probably been made the object of them.

And if you're Asian, you're probably worst off if your fat.

And who am I to say anything on this topic? Why, a fat person of course. Yep. Im fat. Been fat my whole life. Not obese, but rather, chubby bordering rather fat. Yes.
Girls reading this would probably start vehemently denying my fatness, but boys would probably nod in agreement.
Fact is, I am.

Now, I just want to talk a little bit on fat jokes. Okay. So. You're thin. I see. And I'm fat? I see that too. Does this give you the right to make fun of my size? Yes? No? NO. That's the answer. Do I need a reason? Yes? No? NO. Absolutely not. No one ever gave you a ticket that has "Permission to Insult Fat People" printed on it. No one.

Yeah, yeah, you may know MANY fat people who just laugh along with the fat jokes you constantly make about them, the repeated teasing and insulting. "They should be used to it," you think. Does anybody get used to people stabbing them in the side? I dont think so. Would you like to prove me wrong? Go ahead.

The thing is, fat people NEVER get used to fat jokes. Fat people are just too polite to tell you off and slap you one in the face. (Though I believe there are some frank fat people out there who would just ask you to suck it.) See, people would think that we were being overly sensitive if we reacted angrily to your fat jokes. Are we being overly sensitive? Yes? No? HMM. LET'S SEE.


Geez. I cant BELIEVE some people out there. Hypocrites, really. Not that Im not one myself, but at least I'll readily admit it. They put on a facade, a mask. They act all snivelly and simpery and nice to the people that benefits them. Oh. Chyeah, I mean, that's how you live a life of holiness and sincerity. Sure.

As for me, I wouldnt say Ive gotten used to fat jokes. I feel a pang of hurt, a moment of annoyance - just like when a fly refuses to get out of your face- and then after that, Ill return to my normal self. Because if I were to dwell on every single fat joke directed at me, and pine away in sorrow and grief over it, Id be a withered skeleton in the desert, being pecked at by vultures by now.

So yeah, people. Fat people do move on. Maybe some don't care. But some might. Some might take it to heart. Some might take it to death. So just because the fat ones you know seem to act like they dont give a hoot about the jokes you make about their fatness, doesnt mean you should go on making those jokes.

Try and stop and think for a little bit.
Use that useless noggin' of yours.
Put your rusty brain and its gears to work.

Stop making fat jokes.
Get over yourself.
You aren't funny.