Friday, April 17, 2009

the END

Next week is going to a slow, torturous week, something like the week before SPM. But i doubt SPM was anywhere as stressful as this. It's already April... Its been four months since Ive entered a whole new atmosphere in college, meeting new people (some of which happen to know everyone else -_-) and doing HARDER WORK. I cant say its been a good week. My mood swings have become more frequent lately, ranging from hyperactive to depressed to furious to plain suicidal. Emotional turmoil = sarah's number one specialty, served up this week. Procrastinating, procrastinated, procrastination. Familiar with all tenses of those. I might seem to be talking in strange, unconnected sentences, buts its mainly because im actually listing all my thoughts down in point form. I just couldnt be bothered to place the "points" there. I just realized what a slacker I am. Okay. not JUST. ALLL this while, I was somewhat semi-aware that I was the biggest slacker in class, but now it has hit my face, full-blast. Yet, what do I do to rectify this situation? Nothing at all. So that does not only make me the ultimate SLACKER, people, it also makes me the ultimate LOSER. And IF im aiming to pass my Grade 8 this time, I cant use SAM and heavy workload as an excuse. I've got to put an end to this. When and HOW, I have no idea. But hopefully, it will come, preferably sooner than later, before my whole life ends up in ruins and my future lays before me as bleak as a ... as a..... as a dead end in a long road with many obstacles that I have strived so far to overcome. Yes. Another problem I have yet to address is my eating habits. People go "Oooohh! Aaaahh! She's eating an apple!" but what they dont KNOW is that I actually go HOME to eat (partly cos wanna save $$) usually. Well, at least NOWADAYS LA. I dont know. bah. But somehow or other Ive got to control my eating a bit....If not, itll be just a few seconds before I find myself wallowing in my own FAT. Dont ask me to "Jia Yu, Kah yau" or whatever shit it is people say to cheer others on. The LAST thing i want to do is "ADD OIL". Get what i mean? lmao. okay. anyway. that was where I inserted a lame joke. Clap clap. Sarah is still able to make jokes despite the miserable misery of it all. hurrah for weird sarah hormones. Reports and paraphrasing, I have discovered that I am not good at mastering any of you. You. Go and DIE.

In the chaos and awful din of all these problems, there is still another problem, ready to surface and cause ripples on the already stormy pond. Firstly, Im losing touch with all things church-related. I have no idea why. I just feel so far away from God. Though im trying with the daily devotion thing.... And failing. But still trying. So there's still hope. Secondly, Im having BOY ISSUES. yes people, im STILL having boy issues. Then again, when isnt there a time in life when a girl does NOT face boy issues. Its so utterly pathetic to like someone whom is WAY out of your league, and perfectly knowing that THAT PERSON will NEVER LIKE YOU BACK. ITs just so bloody desperate and stupid. But here I am, being a victim of that very situation. What more, I dont seem to spend enough time with my family, though occasionally i play with my brother in the evenings. I eat dinner with my family allll the time but there doesn't seem to be much to say.

So the problems Im dealing with now can basically be grouped into these categories
1. Studies
2. Religion
3. Family
4. Eating Habits
5. Constant PROCRASTINATION (die, you.)
6. Boys. (ugh.) Btw HB1-ians, its NOT who you THINK IT IS. FAR FROM IT, in fact. >_> ish.

I dont know how much of the above has actually been coherent to you, and whether you read it, but like I have mentioned before in my earlier posts, this BLOG is for me to list out my schedule, things I need to sort out, things that have become too knotted and jumbled in my head for any solving. If I list it out, somehow it makes things a little bit better. Hehe. So...yeah. Sigh. Who knew right?


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